What would highest me do? No, I don’t mean smash a bag of Cheetos you fucking stoners. We’re talking about the part of you that is self-assured, unattached, brave, honest and has all her needs met.
Having a hard time picturing that as a part of you? That’s okay. Know that that part absolutely lives inside of you, but if it helps, you can imagine someone outside of you.
When I was getting to know highest me – I call her Highest G – I didn’t picture her as a part of me. It was a different girl that lived outside of me, and she was a BAAD bitch.
This girl was everything I wanted to be. She had 10 book deals, and people dying to work with her. Her time was valuable, and people deeply admired her honesty and integrity. I’ve never had a dream job, so I just imagined her as deeply happy. The coolest part about her? She took no shit.
I began to embody her by using her in my relationships.
Before, as Highest G, I would let boys take advantage of me. I let them treat me kindly when it was convenient for them, and I would drop my needs to make myself available. I was operating from a place of scarcity. I thought if I don’t get this really shitty version of attention and validation, I won’t get any at all.
Lower G had standards but would throw them out the window, and take what she could get. Highest G has standards, and doesn’t settle for less because she knows better will come along.
When I felt conflicted or disrespected by a dude, I would think “what would a bad bitch do in this situation?”. She wasn’t afraid to honor herself because she wasn’t afraid of losing Josh whose only hobbies were Sunday football and golfing.
Highest G’s strategy was to never give them the satisfaction.
The least attractive thing you can do to Highest G is to not recognize her greatness. There is no bigger turn off than a man seeing me as average.
It was truly a “fake it until you make it” for me. I forced myself to act as if it was already true.
I wasn’t honoring my boundaries because I thought it was the right thing to do. I was doing it because that is what the badass girls I admired would have done, and I wanted to be more like them.
Honoring my boundaries, and not allowing these boys to play me as I had for so many years actually made them like me way more. You can ask the dude that I had to block on three different numbers what he thinks about Highest G.
Not sure what highest You would do in a given moment? Just ask yourself, what would be your best guess if you HAD to give one?
Highest You is connected to abundance. Lower you is connected to scarcity.
When we are connected to scarcity, we take what we are given. We have standards and boundaries, but we don’t honor them. We take what we are given out of fear we won’t get what we truly want.
When we are connected to abundance, we say no to the things that are not up to our standard. We honor our boundaries. We are not afraid of losing, because we know something will come in to replace it. We know that something will be even better because when we honor ourselves, the universe notices.
The universe notices OK G is not going to accept this washed-up frat boy, so, let’s dive into the more well-rounded men for her.
OK, abundance – Cool. Don’t do the scarcity thing. Got it.
But how?
The way I connect to abundance is by picturing abundance. My favorite thing to do this with is money. I think of all of the money that is being exchanged all around me this very minute. The Wawa down the street, the employees being paid there, the electricity bill they are paying. I picture the gas station where every person that pulls up is spending $25. The babysitters working all throughout my neighborhood making a buck, the landscapers, the construction guys, the handymen.
Money is being exchanged all around you. OF COURSE you’re entitled to some of it.
I do this with relationships, jobs, clients. You can do it with anything! It’s easy to get caught in that mindset of scarcity, but catch yourself when you find yourself clinging. Feel like you are settling? You probably are, and that is scarcity!
Ask yourself, would the highest version of me be settling for this? The version of you that has everything you need – enough validation, money, attention – would she settle for this?
Fake it until you make it, act as if it is already true. Be okay with feeling like you’re getting it wrong (you’re not). Prioritizing yourself feels wrong, but that is just because of the things we’ve been taught to believe. Be patient with yourself as you practice.
Self Like 